Sarah's Special Keto Cauliflower Bread

Sarah’s Keto cauliflower bread has become a staple of my new diet. This ‘bread’ is physically satisfying and has resulted in a rapid and dramatic reduction of my glucose readings as I’ve substituted it for bread, crackers and pasta. It leaves me so much more full than a simple slab of meat and a bowl of rabbit food that I now go six or eight hours and still feel full.

Google requires that I now tell you that you may not like this bread, may not improve your blood sugar numbers, may not lose weight, may not feel full, might and may invest more time in preparation than I estimate below. Some of you will even find a way to hurt yourselves in the kitchen.

After you’ve read the recipe closely and studied the process at length, scroll to the bottom for a few more helpful observations and disclaimers.

Here’s the recipe:

One head of cauliflower
Two large eggs
1/2 cup sharp cheddar (this is critical)
1/2 mozzarella
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
Pinch of salt
Optional seasonings.

Here’s the process, which your eight year-old daughter or 12 year-0ld son can handle on their own:

Start with your large head of cauliflower
Break up the cauliflower into palm-sized portions
Place the cauliflower into your food processor. You will probably need to do half at a time.
Process the cauliflower until you achieve a rice-like texture. This is a good activity for a pre-pubescent child who likes loud noises and destroying things.
Place the cauliflower in an oven-proof baking dish and bake for 20 minutes at 375F.
Let the baked cauliflower cool for 15 minutes.
Line a bowl with a thin kitchen towel or cheesecloth
Pour the cauliflower into the towel.
Grab the towel by the corners, twist the contents and start squeezing the moisture from the cauliflower. This is a good activity for an angry or sullen teenager.
Repeat this process several times for five minutes. You should get about one cup of water from a large head.
Dump the now-dry cauliflower in a clean bowl.
Add eggs, cheese and pepper.
Mix thoroughly. This task should be performed by a virtuous, diligent child who follows directions reliably.
After you have made the ‘dough’, transfer to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (or foil). If you use foil, make sure you coat lightly with olive oil or use non-stick spray. The dough will not be sticky, but the eggs and cheese act as a binding agent during baking.
Form a rectangle of approximately 9″x7″ and 1/4″ thick using your hands.
Increase oven temperature to 450F and bake for 20 minutes.
Remove and allow to cool before serving.

The result is a ‘bread’ that has a quiche-like consistency.

This will keep in the refrigerator for 48 hours. Once it is cold, to prepare it you’ll want to reheat in the microwave for 30 seconds and then place in the toaster oven for 3 minutes on ‘toast’ (this is what I do). Or, you could warm it on a skillet (this is what the Wife does for me).

We’ve experimented with the recipe and discovered that the sharp cheddar (or some other strong cheese), is critical to masking the intense cauliflower taste. I can also recommend Asiago in lieu of the cheddar. The Wife made it one time without the cheddar and it required additional seasonings (such as Zatarain’s Creole Seasoning), to be edible.

I consume 1/4 of the sheet of ‘bread’ at a sitting, along with meat/fish and cheese. In my case, one batch lasts me two days as I consume 1/4 of the sheet twice per day.

This stuff will never cause you to forget how good a homemade biscuit is, or what great pizza crust is like, or how delightful angel hair pasta is tossed in seafood. However, with the right pairings it is edible, even enjoyable, it is very filling and it has helped me make a quick and easy transition to the Keto plan. I’m not hungry, my blood sugar dropped from 140 to 100 in a week, and my slacks have stopped shrinking. Good luck to you.

Below are a few ways I’ve used the “bread”.

Keto Tuna for meatless Wednesdays and Fridays