Things Dads shouldn’t have to say:
Don’t poop in the front yard.
Yes, toddlers can eat meat on Friday.
Why did you pee on the floor?
Tell Batman to load the dishwasher.
Don’t pull your dress over your head.
That’s why you check before you take the diaper off.
Don’t go outside naked.
That’s why you add water to ramen before you microwave it.
Don’t point your toy gun at passing police cars.
Stop gagging yourself.
Don’t feed the goldfish to the cat.
Yes gin is allowed on the Keto diet