I was asked, “What duty does a man have to his parents after he’s married? How can he honor his parents without neglecting his wife?”
I’ve been thinking a lot about this question, both in relationship to my now elderly parents, and to my children, eight of whom are now adults.
Here’s my first stab at an answer:
A son can honor his parents after marriage in many ways, but always within the proper order of priorities—his wife and children come first. That being said, here are some ways he can uphold the Fourth Commandment while maintaining his primary duty to his own household:
Regular visits and communication show that he values and respects them, even though he no longer lives under their authority. This doesn’t mean daily check-ins like a teenager giving an account of his whereabouts, but it does mean he doesn’t vanish like a hermit the moment he gets married. Calling to check on them, visiting on Sundays or feast days, and ensuring they feel included in family life (within reason) helps maintain a strong relationship.
Praying for them is one of the highest forms of honor. A son should offer Mass intentions for them, pray the Rosary for their well-being, and, if they are struggling in faith or suffering in any way, he should offer sacrifices for their spiritual and physical needs. Honor is not just about external gestures but about willing their ultimate good.
Providing for them in their old age is both a duty
