Parents, You Are Responsible for the Souls of Your Children
Jesus tells us in the Gospel that a good tree doesn’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree doesn’t produce good fruit (Matt. 7:17-18). In the same way, a good father raises good children. But if the parents are immoral, how can the children grow up to be virtuous? Can you expect to harvest grapes from thorns? Of course not.
So let’s be honest: it’s rare to find holy and upright children who were raised by careless or sinful parents.
Parents, pay attention. Your children’s eternal salvation, and your own, depends on whether or not you take this responsibility seriously. And you young men and women who are discerning marriage: if you want to become a parent one day, you must understand that God will hold you accountable for how you raise your children. Fail in this duty, and you may very well drag not only your children to Hell, but yourself as well.
Part One: The Eternal Importance of Raising Children in Virtue
Every father and mother has two key duties to their children:
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To provide for their material needs.
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To raise them in the habits of Christian virtue.
The first doesn’t need much explanation. A parent who squanders money on selfish pleasures while his children go hungry is acting more like a wild beast than a human being. But let’s focus on the second duty: education in virtue.
Your children’s eternal future, whether they grow up to be holy or wicked, depends almost entirely on the way you raise them. God didn’t give you children to boost the family name or to help out with chores. He gave them to you so that you would raise them to know, love, and fear Him—and prepare them for eternal life.
St. John Chrysostom said it well: “We have a great treasure in our children—let us protect it with great care.” Your children are not a gift you can treat however you please. They are a trust. And if you lose them because of your negligence, you will answer for it before God.
One of the Fathers of the Church taught that on Judgment Day, parents will be held accountable for every sin their children committed if it was due to their failure to correct or guide them. But the opposite is also true: if you train your children well, they can become the very means by which you save your own soul.
Scripture says: “She shall be saved through childbearing” (1 Tim 2:15). That means through the faithful fulfillment of her duties as a mother—not simply giving birth, but raising her children in the Lord.
But woe to the parent who only cared about money, comfort, or worldly status. St. Paul says that anyone who fails to care for his own household has denied the Faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim 5:8). You could go to daily Mass and say your Rosary every day, but if you neglect the spiritual care of your children, you may still end up damned.
If every parent raised their children with discipline and holiness, our world would not be drowning in crime and immorality. St. John Chrysostom said it plainly: bad parenting delivers children into the hands of the devil.
Do not make excuses. When your child begins to form sinful habits or keep bad company, don’t shrug it off with, “Well, they’re just young. They’ll grow out of it.” No, they won’t—not without your help. Proverbs warns us: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
Job says that the sins of youth stick to a man like bones to his flesh (Job 20:11). And those sins will often follow him to the grave.
The younger your child is, the easier it is to shape them in virtue. But once bad habits are established, it becomes much harder to correct them.
Part Two: How to Raise Children in Holiness
St. Paul gives us the summary: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). This means:
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Discipline: forming good moral habits and character.
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Correction: addressing sin and bad behavior with love and firmness.
1. Teach by Word
A good father should gather his children regularly and teach them to fear God and reject sin. This is how Tobias raised his son: “He taught him from his infancy to fear God and avoid sin” (Tob. 1:10).
Teach your children:
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That there is one God, Creator and Lord of all.
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That He rewards the good with Heaven and punishes the wicked with Hell.
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That God is Trinity; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, one God in three Persons.
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That Jesus Christ, true God and true Man, became incarnate, died for our salvation, and rose again.
Every Catholic must know these truths. If you don’t understand them yourself, learn them. Then teach them to your children, or find someone faithful who can. It is a mortal sin to allow your children to grow up in ignorance of the Faith.
Your children should also be taught:
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Morning prayers of thanksgiving and offering.
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Daily acts of Faith, Hope, and Charity.
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How to examine their conscience and make an act of contrition each night.
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How to pray the Rosary and visit Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.
Many holy families read short meditations and pray silently together for 30 minutes each day. Train your children early. Get them to weekly confession and communion.
2. Teach by Example
If your words say one thing but your life says another, your children will follow your example, not your advice.
Children will ask, “Why should I go to confession every month, when my father only goes once a year?” If you curse, gossip, or lie, don’t be surprised when your children do the same.
St. Bernard said, “Bad parents are not fathers—they are murderers of souls.” Your children don’t come into the world sinful. Sinful habits are learned—usually from parents.
You cannot expect your children to become saints if you live like a pagan. Frequent the Sacraments. Control your tongue. Stop gossiping. Live a life of discipline. Your children will imitate what they see.
3. Protect Your Children from Sin
Don’t just react to problems, prevent them.
A good father keeps his children away from dangerous situations, immoral entertainment, and bad friends. You must know where your children go, who they spend time with, what they read, and what they watch. If you’re not watching out for them, the world will devour them.
Throw out every book, website, or show that promotes impurity, false teachings, or worldly values. If your daughter is being tutored by a man in private, stop it. The devil doesn’t care about your excuses.
4. Correct Your Children
“He who spares the rod hates his son” (Prov. 13:24). If you love your children, you’ll correct them. And you’ll do it while they’re still young enough to listen.
That doesn’t mean you fly off the handle or beat them in anger. That’s not correction, it’s abuse. Discipline should be calm, measured, and firm. If a punishment is needed, use it wisely: a missed meal, the loss of a privilege, or temporary isolation.
But never discipline in rage. The goal is their conversion, not your emotional release. And once they reach adulthood, physical discipline must stop. If they’re not trained by then, words alone won’t fix them.
Conclusion
Parents, your mission is clear.
If you raise your children carelessly or negligently, and they are lost because of your example or your silence, you will be judged for it. But if you raise them in the fear of God, train them in virtue, and protect them from evil, you will be rewarded eternally.
Raise saints. Start today. There is no more serious or sacred task.
Inspired by Saint Alphonsus Ligouri’s “Advice to Parents”